Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A Very Creepy Christmas

Christmas time is here! Time to deck the halls, drink some eggnog and all that fa la la. Decorating is a big way to show your yuletide spirit, but I can’t help but have noticed that some holiday d├ęcor is just a little off. And by off, I mean down right creepy. Here are the Top Five Creepiest Christmas Decorations I found, some of which you can purchase if you need to scare off some pesky in-laws or perverted uncles.

1. SANTA'S HELPER - $350 Etsy.com

Liven up your Christmas decorations with a terrifying Chucky Elf. Straight from the North Pole Insane Asylum, this guy is guaranteed to keep you checking over your shoulder in case he begins following you. I swear it was looking the other direction before….

2. TWO HEADED SANTA- $52.00 Etsy.com

According to the description, Santa has two heads since “one head knows who's been naughty and one head knows who's been nice.” Sheesh I’m creeped enough that he knows when I’m asleep or awake, but now the man has four eyes and can look both ways at once? I’d like to see this version of Santa get the kiddos to sit on his lap at the mall.


Nothing says “Yippy-skippy its Christmas!” like one ugly sweater. This beaut’ is sure to kick all the other ugly sweaters’ asses as it not only lights up, it plays music and dances! All while appearing to burst out of your abdomen. Kinda like the extra-terrestrial coming out of John Hurt in “Alien”, but with Santa shoulder pads. (Batteries not included)

4. ELF BABY - $599.00 Ebay

As if the super realistic ceramic babies weren’t creepy enough, they now come straight from “The Hills Have Eyes.” I’ve seen a lot of Christmas movies and I’m pretty sure elves are never babies. They are born old to make toys or shoes or cookies. Nice try, deformed banished Hill people, but I’m not falling for this decoy. The least you could do is lower the price.


Unfortunately I do not know where this little guy came from or if he’s even for sale. While searching for unique decorations, this image came up with the caption “Christmas Taxidermy”. ‘Tis the season.

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