Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Cabbage Soup Series: Day Five

Day Five: Beef and Tomatoes: Ten to twenty ounces of beef and up to six fresh tomatoes. Drink at least 6 to 8 cups of water this day to wash the uric acid from your body. Eat your soup at least once this day. You may eat broiled or baked chicken instead of beef (but absolutely no skin-on chicken). If you prefer, you can substitute broiled fish for the beef one of the beef days (but not both).

Beef. Meat. Fatty tissue. Say it with me….PROOTIIEEN. This meal was so beautiful, so natural, so right, that I can only have pictures describe what a thousand words would take:

No, that is not bacon my beef is wrapped in. Just ignore that, its not important.

To add to the bestiality, I pull all the forks and knives in the dish washer while the beefy mass was in the oven. I had nothing to rip through the flesh other than my God-given hands and teeth. I assumed the Mr. Peepers circa Chris Kattan stance to demolish my meal, and was thankful I was the only one home.
I like my meat rare, but there is a good chance that this was still raw.

As I sat back with my belly full, wiping the bloody juices from my chin, I knew I was in for a rough tomorrow. I slept soundly enough, only to be woken up what can only be described as a hung-over in Vegas kind of stomach pain. I gave up alcohol for the week to feel like this? I downed a glass of much-needed chocolate milk – my ultimate health cure – and accepted the cheat with my head hung low but stomach soothed. But hey, what’s one little bitsy glass of milk when I was down 5.4 lbs!

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